Captain Queer strikes again!

As I had previously discussed with The Scientist, I tend to have some capacity to, uhm... queerify my potential partners. I discussed it with him in the sense that I'd just hooked up with his best girlfriend who had never hooked up with a girl before. And I tend to find myself in threesomes... frequently... with two straight men.

Not the same two straight men, mind you. This marks the third different MFM threesome I've had. This year.

God, I love my life.

Which was, incidentally, exactly what I said when I walked back into my bedroom after my two boys and I had gotten back to my house and I'd excused myself to the restroom, as I opened the door and saw them both there, completely naked.

Yes, I have a very lovely life.

The night was an entirely random one. I went to dinner with C, came home and bought Bear a plane ticket to come visit me (huzzah! less than a month!), then was wanting to go play, but no one was around. Which is when a random old friend, who I haven't spoken to in at least two years, facechatted me. And we discovered we live about 10 minutes from each other. And made the executive decision that he and I were going to get drunk together.

He got to my place quickly, and I don't think we stopped talking the entire way home. Or for the stop at the grocery store. Or the liquor store. He was adorably excited, and there was gushing on both our ends. His poor boyfriend must have thought we were cracked out or something. We were just...buzzing... together. It was a blast.

We mellowed as the rum kicked in, and I got a chance to know his boyfriend better - and even bond over some similarities we have. We're the same age, and, oh, are both into BDSM and are total subs. It was one of those kind of nights where nothing is taboo. I loved it.

Eventually, a few of his boyfriend's friends came over... they had asked his boyfriend earlier, apparently, if there was REALLY a girl over. His boyfriend said "Yes, I promise, there is a girl here." By the time the friends got there, I was just drunk enough to introduce myself by saying, "Hi. I'm the promise. AKA Sasha." I thought it was funny, anyway.

I'm not sure it was ever really discussed, but rather it was just assumed from the time the friends walked in the door, that the two of them and I would all be sleeping together.

I didn't have a problem with that. Clearly, neither did they.

I don't know if the two friends have had a threesome with one another before, but they certainly acted comfortable and smooth enough around each other to make me wonder. They worked me like they knew what they were doing. But then again, I let them work me like that. I knew exactly what they were doing.

I knew what they were doing when one of them leaned in to kiss me while we were standing alone in the kitchen. I knew what they were doing when the other came in and found us kissing. I knew what I was doing when I stole away with the other and kissed him on the patio.

And I knew what we were doing when we all decided we were going back to my house.

"God, I love my life."

They both smiled at the comment, pleased with themselves and my reaction, I think. I barely had time to process their reactions, though, before they were both on me, damn near ripping my clothes off.

I will never get tired of the feeling of having so many hands on me at once. No two people's touch is ever quite the same, and, yes, the exhibitionist in me really enjoys it. Also, I've picked up quite the appreciation for naked skin from Friend (and others, but he and I talk about it regularly), and this is just such a delicious way to feed that hunger.

There is much more to be told about the night, of course... But I did get some fantasies fulfilled, which is always excellent. (Aside: I'm going to need to make a list of fantasies I've had fulfilled and which I haven't... I think the former list is longer. Awesome.) Check for details in upcoming product reviews - I do so appreciate when guys aren't intimidated by toys. In fact, that was part of our motivation for going back to my house - I was bragging about my toy collection.

God, I love my life.

HNT: Girls bite, too...

In case you were wondering, yes, I do still hook up with girls. And, yes, girls do bite. HARD.

I was at a party with The Scientist this week where I was introduced to his friends. After the introduction of some delicious social lubricant, I got on with them just fine. Some more than others. The Scientist's best girl friend, who was tall and curvy and GORGEOUS, seemed to be particularly glad I was there.

Especially when she started kissing me, pinned me down on the couch, and eventually led me upstairs to a bedroom. The Scientist came in shortly thereafter, but she and I kept focusing on each other for some time.

The Scientist and I are thinking, perhaps, we should try and bottle whatever the magic is that happens when we're together. Because if we could sell it, we would be MILLIONAIRES.

Or, there's also the possibility that I might be Captain Queer: With the ability to turn anyone in the room just a little queer! (The Scientist's friend had never done more than kiss a girl for the attention of the boys in the room, and I'm now at two different threesomes with two straight men each. I love my life.)




HHNT!

I am a greedy whore.

No, really.

I hadn't been able to sleep on the second leg of my flight. I was too jittery and excited and just couldn't stop smiling. I must have looked like an idiot, a shit-eating grin on my face as we touched down at the airport just after midnight. But I knew Friend was waiting for me at the airport and that the Pilot would be there momentarily to pick us up. I nearly sprinted off the plane and to the train to baggage claim. (Wow, that was a lot of unintentional rhyming.) I found Friend sitting on a bench, a giant backpacking pack at his feet. As calmly as I could (as if he didn't know how excited I was to be there and seeing him), I walked up to him and said something stupid like "hey, don't I know you?" There were hugs, and we called the Pilot, who rolled up shortly thereafter. We decided midnight meals were in order, and after an unsuccessful effort to find an open Village Inn, settled for Denny's. (Which, by the way, were springing up like weeds... I think the final count was 8 or 9 in the same stretch of state?) The snarky, witty, nerdy conversation ensued basically immediately. I've known both boys for years, and while they've kept better touch with one another consistently than I have, I feel like I fit seamlessly into their friendship. It's a nice feeling. Of course, we tend to be very silly when we all get together, and most conversations eventually end up reduced to naked and/or sex jokes. Which is also awesome.

We had to drive for about an hour to get back to the Pilot's apartment, meaning it was somewhere around 2am. For some ridiculous reason, we decided to nerd out and watch Firefly. And drink rum. The Pilot is part pirate, and as such, LOVES rum. He was starting to devise some kind of drinking game involving taking a drink every time a character swore without really doing so, but he was basically the only one playing. Friend and I each had maybe a glass of rum by the time the Pilot had three and was relatively sauced. From some kind of semi-fateful misunderstanding, I'd told the Pilot ahead of time that we could all just share his bed. And, seeing as how both Friend and the Pilot are straight (or at most hetero-flexible, to borrow Friend's phrasing), and because, yknow, I'm a cuddle whore, I climbed into the middle of the bed. And then things got interesting.

I should mention that, in general, Friend and I are very silly with one another. Especially when it comes to sex. It's one of my favorite things about him, not only does he make me laugh, but he does so at exceedingly appropriate times and is excellent at diffusing a tense situation and helping me put things in perspective. As such, the sex we have is lighthearted and fun - which doesn't make it any less hot or memorable, but does set it apart from most other partners I've had.

In classic fashion, as I was lying between the two boys, Friend made some comment about how it was silly that I was wearing a shirt, since I had perfectly good breasts that shouldn't be hidden. Or something to that effect. I just giggled, and without much convincing, shed my shirt. At which point, I had a hand on each breast - one belonging to each boy. Friend made another joke, and started kissing my neck, biting my earlobe... pointing out to the Pilot that he should do the same and see what kind of reaction it elicited. They made the requisite snarky, cocky comments when my breathing became audibly louder. Hands started running up and down my body. Friend and the Pilot have very different touches, and it was electrifying feeling the two sensations simultaneously. As I've come to expect, Friend's touch is softer, more sensual. The Pilot, running his hands up and down the right side of my body, had a stronger touch - it seemed more urgent, hungrier. Even before anyone had moved his hands below my waist, my body was buzzing. Friend turned my face to his, both his hands on my jaw, and kissed me. So began my first boy-girl-boy threesome. And the fulfillment of a fantasy I've had for years.

(On a side note, I've started noticing that perhaps having one's lovers read one's blog is a good plan. It's a good way for them to take note of what you do and don't like, without having to burden oneself with actually telling them... *snicker*)

The Pilot knew Friend and I have been together, and I'm not sure he was originally sure how he would fit into the scenario. So I turned to him, and kissed him, too. And I have to say that in that moment, I started to feel a little like a sex goddess. That's probably an entirely unearned title, but it's how I felt. Understandably, I think, given that I had two men basically worshipping me. It's hard not to feel pretty fucking hot.

Friend, for his part, kept the tone characteristically light, which I think sometimes bugged the Pilot, who takes sex much more seriously. (Again, something that was evident even in the way they touched me.) My style is probably something of a combination of the two - I can certainly roll with either, and it was a fascinating experience having the two combined. I'd love to say I played some crucial role in mediating between the two, but the truth is I was so flabergasted by what was happening that I probably wasn't much help at all. I just kept floating higher and higher, existing on some other plane where things like this actually happen.

Throughout the entire encounter, Friend emerged as the kind of leader, or perhaps the director. He and I don't do much with a dom/sub dichotomy (although he's usually in charge, and has no problem pinning my hands down or pulling my hair to put me where he wants me), but he stepped into this quiet dominance part in this situation. I think some of it was, as we hadn't discussed anything about this with all three of us, we were kind of improvising and needed someone willing to direct things in some sense. And I think some of it was, for all that I suspect the Pilot has quite a bit of a dom personality buried in him, he was still a little unsure about what was and wasn't allowed. And I will admit that it was lovely to just sit back and enjoy, totally absorbed in the sensations, knowing that Friend was looking out for me and knows me so well that I can trust him completely. So things progressed.

Both guys went down on me - which is a big deal for me, as it's something I'm not exceptionally comfortable with. Of course, like most of the things that night, I was a little too blissed out to be self-conscious. Which, again, was a nice change of pace. And again, getting the undivided attention of two men at the same time doesn't hurt a girl's ego, either. At one point, Friend got up and came back with ice cubes, which melted on my overheated skin accompanied by my whimpers and squirming. Friend would periodically look at me and just shake his head, saying, "You are SO spoiled." I'd smile and giggle out, "Oh, I know. It's awesome."

Somewhere about three hours in (yes, THREE HOURS), the actual sex began. I don't recall exactly how the arrangement came to be (then again, most of the evening wasn't planned), but I ended up facing Friend while the Pilot fucked me from behind, spoon-style. Wow. What a mind-fuck. And talk about a very strange way to be submissive. Making eye contact with your partner while you're being fucked by someone else... I'm not even sure I can verbalize the sensation. I felt empowered, sexy, desired, while at the same time feeling very vulnerable and submissive and even a little objectified (in a good, consensual kind of way). Looking at Friend, it was like I was asking his permission, even though he'd obviously already granted it. Again, he would take my face in his hands, kiss me deeply, pull me back into the moment when I was floating away. He does that sometimes. Usually right when I need him to.

And there was the separate sensation of pleasure coming from the Pilot, fucking me. He knew what he was doing. It felt fantastic. I love being fucked from behind, and it had been a long time since I'd had spooning sex, although it's one of my favorites when it works right. And oh, was it working right. His hands were gripping at my hips, pulling me into him, and I know my breathing (more likely panting at this point) was synching up with his thrusts. He came quietly, and we both let out a deep breath. He rolled onto his back, and we all spaced out a little on the bed to start the collective come-down.

The details from there are a little fuzzy. It was definitely a different kind of come-down, and I'm pretty sure I started giggling insanely. (Something that became standard fare for the week we spent together... the boys took to calling it my midnight cat crazies... cat owners will get it.) Eventually, we fell asleep, me still in between both the boys, each of my arms twisted with one of theirs. And I slept well... Sweet dreams weren't even needed. I had just lived one.

If the things I fantasize about keep living up to my expectations, I might have to reevaluate my chronic pessimism.

And as for the title here? It became a running joke for the rest of the week, that I was a greedy whore, just letting the boys pamper me like that. And really, they were right. I just can't promise I'll be changing anytime soon if these are the experiences that trait gets me.

hotsexyloveness

I spent a LONG time talking to an old friend online a day or so ago. We're talking multiple hours here. I've written about him before, but he doesn't have a nickname here. Perhaps he'll get one, although this post isn't so much about him as it is the conversation we had. And how it got me thinking. (Not that that's something unusual for our conversations.) He and I have discussed in the past our mutual tendency away from monogamy and our dislike of the automatically supposed imposition of the concept.

Through the course of our conversation, we started talking about three-way relationships. Not necessarily threesomes, sexually. (Although there was some sufficiently hot verbal visualization of such encounters, which will absolutely be fodder for the next time I get some me-time. God, I'm a sucker for well-written words.) Instead, the conversation focused on establishing a long-term, three-way relationship. We both agreed that the idea of having TWO people to give and recieve that love, affection, and attention from and for sounds like an genuinely appealing idea. Obviously, this can only work in very specific scenarios, and we differed a little on what kind of things we would each expect from such a relationship. I said I think I'd want two people who knew me as well as he or some of my other dear friends do, whereas he pointed out that some learning and exploration can be a good thing. I'm fascinated by the idea of really making such a relationship work.

I think it could remove the stress that I've felt in other open relationships, where, even with permission, there can still be a nagging feeling that I'm doing something dishonest. In my experience, more traditionally open relationships are generally on a "don't ask, don't tell" basis - in that neither partner wants to hear details of the other's extra-relational affairs, but needs to know that they're going on, and that everyone is being safe, etc., etc. But I think, were there three people involved in the relationship, mutually, that would, on the one front, satisfy the desire to have sex with more than one person (which, who are we kidding, is something I most definitely have to consider with myself), while still build the kind of connection that I think is increasingly difficult to establish outside of some kind of emotional relationship. Not everything would have to be done together - people could pair off for events, take nights off, basically do whatever they wanted, of course. I do think it gets a little sticky there, though, because that's the point I start worrying about jealousy. If boy and girl (he's straight, so we were discussing FMF scenarios, but I'm open to other combinations as well, of course. Granted, there seems to be a shortage of bisexual men in my life. Which makes me sad sometimes. Anyway, back on track...) want to go out to dinner, but I have other plans, well, then, no big deal. By the same token, if I'm really feeling that I need a woman's touch that night, well, then girl and I take some time to ourselves sans boy.


But, Sasha, how do you know they wouldn't establish a stronger connection and eventually push you out? I don't, of course. At the same time, I tend to not get particularly jealous once I know how someone feels about me. It's the time before I'm sure that I'm fiercely protective of my time with someone. Take the current obsession, for example - I'm not sure how he feels about me, but when he invites me out with him, and then some drunken trip-mate steals him for an hour to ramble at him and dance with him, my face flushes and my eyes get greener. (A sure sign I'm angry, upset, or, as those of you who've been with me know, turned on. In that case, it was the former, obviously.) At the same time, the idea (or reality) of non-boyfriend being with other girls, talking to other women, spending time on other people, didn't bother me. I knew he liked me, I knew he wanted to spend (at least some of his) time with me, and so it didn't matter what else he did.


Of course, all this was discussed with Friend. We talked about how people go about avoiding jealousy, and about what jealousy actually is. Here was his idea: "Jealousy is a result of a breach of contract, but in this case, there's no breach, and therefore, no jealousy." Yes, I realize it's never that simple, but it is a strikingly reasonable way to look at it. And I think there's some merit to it. Because, yes, I get most angry and hurt when someone doesn't do what they've promised me they would. When they go back on their word. But in this scenario, if their word involved loving me AND someone else, as it would for me and for the third person, well, then there really isn't much to be jealous of.


There was more exploring of the idea. (Literally, we spent an ENTIRE night discussing this.) Trying to figure out if this would be any harder, or easier than a "traditional" relationship. And came to this conclusion: Relationships are inherently hard. It doesn't matter who is involved, or how many people, or how queer or straight or kinky or vanilla any of the participants are, relationships of any kind, and certainly those of value, take work, maintenance and compromise. So I don't know that I'd believe that this kind of relationship would be any harder than any other. Granted, it might not be any easier, either, but Friend and I both acknowledged that it might be more honest to ourselves than trying to make our trangularness fit into the round hole, so to speak.

Basically, I don't think there is necessarily some natural human tendency towards pairings of two. I do believe that humans are social creatures, and that we desire love, affection, companionship. But I don't see why that precludes getting those things from more than one other person. It's a founding reason of my views on monogamy, and since I embraced that, I've had generally better relationships. I just hadn't thought to apply it in a broader sense until this conversation.


Of course, there's the public perception. Every once in a while, I've stumbled across stories about or from people in triads, and they've mentioned that society at large isn't used to seeing three people walk down the street holding hands, or snuggling together at a movie. I suppose that's true. At the same time, I've kind of stopped trying to live my life making other people happy. Nevertheless, I think people tend to get particularly nervous about group sex (which, I feel, is almost always considered more prominently than group relationships). Friend said it best. Upon asking him if he could teleport himself across the Atlantic to come hang out with me, this was his response:

Friend: suborbital rocket could get me there in 25 minutes, no new physics required

Sasha: oh! That'll work.

Sasha: so I'll see you in a half hour?

Friend: if only I had an ICBM lying around

Sasha: icbm?

Friend: intercontinental ballistic missile. the aforementioned rocket

Friend: sans nuclear warheads

Sasha: ah. yeah, probably a good plan to leave those in the garage.

Friend: they do make people nervous

Friend: like, again, group sex

But sometimes it's fun to make people nervous. Especially if it's by doing something that makes you happy. Or something that might be what you've been looking for.

By the end of the conversation (at 3am my time), we were both very seriously considering this as a viable relationship option. Of course, we were still stuck on how to go about bringing this up to potential partners. Hey, I like you, he likes you, and we're pretty sure you like us... whatcha think? just doesn't quite cut it for me. At the same time, I don't know that it would happen without some provocation... I said perhaps as the consequence of a goodthreesome (as opposed to a badthreesome where someone feels like an outside intruder on an existing relationship), but those seem equally rare. I even wracked my brain for hypothetical matches among those people I knew, and had a hard time finding two people who I'd want, who also might want each other, who might also want me. (Not that I'm about to run to any of you and propose this, I promise. Just trying to see how feasible finding something like this might be.) Obviously, there are other avenues to look for this if it's something I actually pursue. I don't know that I will, for sure.
But I do know, for now, that I'm very much enjoying the idea of having two people to love, and touch, and laugh with... two bodies to lay down with each night, that many more hands and fingers and lips and tongues...

The lowdown on the get down (Dec. 07)

While my girlfriend and I were talking about ways to spice up our sex life, she mentioned she'd be interested in a threesome. I'm definitely up for it, but we're both a little confused on the details of how to have sex with each other and another girl. Any tips?


The key to a good threesome is the key to a great relationship: communication. You and your girl already seem comfortable talking to one another, so you've got your foot in the door. Sometimes the trickiest of arranging a menage a trois is finding that third person who's as comfortable with the two of you as you are with each other. Once you've secured a third partner, you have to set up the rules of engagement before you get down to playing the game.
Talk with everyone about what they are and are not OK with doing. Be open - this is no time to hold back. Lay everyone's expectations on the table, to make sure you're all on the same page. As a group, you might decide that intercourse is reserved for you and your girlfriend, but oral, manual or anal sex is OK for everyone involved; or you might deem everything fair play. Whatever you decide, it needs to be something that everyone is completely comfortable with.
That's not to say the experience won't be a little awkward or bumpy - just like losing your virginity. But now, as then, you'll improve with practice. Go in with an open mind, a good sense of humor, and a full box of condoms.


My roommate and I have a lot in common. We like similar music, art and girls. I'm out [of the closet] to my family and friends, but she's only just starting the coming out process. How can I get her to see me as more than just a roommate?


Despite what the Grimm brothers would have us believe, there is no magic spell to make someone fall for you. Life would be too easy if that were the case. There are, however, things you can do to try to get her to realize you're more than just a great roommate.
Of course, you first need to clarify your intentions. If you're looking for a serious relationship, then your approach will likely require a good deal more time and effort than a simple seduction (if such a thing existed). Either way, you'll want to highlight the things you both have in common. The more of a connection she feels with you, the more likely she'll realize how you feel. Once you've established that connection, it's up to you to personalize you tactics in ways you think would attract her. One note of caution: Roommate sex is always convenient, but if the relationship goes awry, you can be left with an uncomfortable, awkward living situation.
Also keep in mind that if she isn't oped about her sexuality yet, she may have some reservations about what you two do outside the apartment. Of course, you also have the advantage in being roommates, since that gives you plenty of alone time to turn into - you guessed it - sexytime.