Coming back

I've been away for a long time. From this blog, but also from myself. I've been trying to balance the person I'm becoming with the person I was, with the person I want to be. And that's been hard.

But this morning, I feel like my old self again.

I remembered what it was like to wake up in the morning next to someone, memories of the night before still fresh in your mind. I remembered what it felt like to feel insatiable - that writhing, grasping, gasping mixture of pain and pleasure and desire and sweat all mixing to produce such a potent and poignant high that you can't focus on anything but the hands and mouth and skin roaming freely over your body.

And the fingers intertwined in dark hair, pulling my head back to bring exposed teeth to bite down on my neck, harder, harder, dear god please harder. And the growling, scratching, pulling as my hips move of their own accord toward what they clearly want and need fuck me please fuck I need you.

And the blue eyes staring into mine staring back - hungry, starving, for the escape of release. Or the open hand, brought to my neck and up towards my chin, just enough pressure to leave me gasping and dripping. And then back to a mouth on mine, biting, pulling at my lip, then slowly moving down past my collarbone, following my breath to my breasts, as a hand moves down to my hips, still pulsing methodically. So then the tongue follows and I have nothing left to fight with as the world closes in around me and we are all that exists. Until I finally can't take it anymore and you look up at me, smirking and content, and my head is spinning and my breath has left my body and all I can feel is you.

Or the sounds made as my hips move, circular, forward and back, up and down, my breathing in time, your sighs and moans and hands and body underneath me getting me higher and harder. The fingers pinching, scratching, taking a handful of my breast as another set finds its way to my pelvis, and my motions become more urgent. And then the hand on my face, pulling me down to your face as you whisper "bite me. scratch me. harder!" and then my hips move faster as our breathing gets harder and your hands on my hips gripping tighter until we finally collapse, exhausted and glistening and panting and very, very happy.

"Holy shit. We've gotten much better at that," I say.

HNT: Nothing clever...

... to say here.



Just more of me naked. Possibly more of my ass than you've seen in a while. Oh, and strange tanning patterns, considering it's the dead of winter. Again, taken at New Year's.

In any case, I hope you enjoy!

HHNT!

HNT: NYE

Here is the first in a series of photos I took at and surrounding New Year's Eve 2009. Along with a new (and, I might add, teeny tiny) dress, I got new lingere as well. The bra was actually courtesy of one of my best girlfriends... Long story, but it worked out. So I finally have a pretty bra that fits right. Again, I've gone on other rants about the fact that it's really difficult to find bras which are actually PRETTY in anything bigger than a C cup. Stupid.

Anyway, so this is the first in the series, taken while getting ready for what became quite the evening. I had been texting with Edward for most of the day of and before, and he had told me he would come into to town... I had bought him a ticket for the club and everything, as he had PROMISED me he'd be there. He kept stalling and stalling, and finally, about 930 (it's about an hour to my place from the town he lives in), he simply stopped responding, which I've learned is code for "I'm being a pussy and avoiding you because I know I've let you down again." And apparently no amount of prompting about just WHAT he was missing out on... (Not just me, but my hot, and fellow single bisexual girl of a date) he didn't show.

Granted, it was his loss, and the night was one of the better New Year's Eves I've had. I had a great time pre-gaming with my date and her friends, we had a good time at the club, then went back to her house, picking up one of her boys en route. By about 3am, Friend was at her apartment, as well. There was a rather funny incident of a LOUD sack session with my date and her boy in her bedroom while Friend and I giggled on the couch in the next room. Eventually my date and her boy emerged semi-dressed, and my date curled up on the couch next to me. After the obligatory introductions, my date went back to making out with me. And then proceeded to have a conversation with Friend about whether or not I was a good kisser. Quite literally over me - she was on my left, and he was on my right. Thankfully for my ego, they decided I was a good kisser, and that the lip ring was an enjoyable feature. Of course, I'm not sure they would have said anything but kind things while I was there, but I suppose that's why they're good friends.

My date and her boy eventually went back to actually go to sleep in her bed, leaving Friend and I alone in her living room. At something like 430 in the morning. On New Year's... well, Day at that point. Clearly, there needed to be nakedness. I must say that I am quite the fan of Friend's tendency to pin me against the wall and remove my clothes. It's not as rough as some other people I sleep with, and I like that. It just fits so well with how we are with one another. And I love the trail of clothes that always end up left along the places we hang out. And of course, the ridiculousness that always follows the sex. I really enjoy the little, random things about our relationship. I haven't heard many complaints from him, either.

So, while my NYE was definitely Edward's loss, it wasn't mine. Or my date's. Or Friend's. A good night for all involved, if I do say so myself. Edward got what he deserved. So did we.

For the record (and the HNT), here's what Friend got:



HHNT!