Sunday, August 10, 2008

The big adventure.

Well, folks, it's that time. I'm off to Europe for the rest of the year. It's been a fantastic summer. Really, one of the best I can remember. And I have a lot of people to thank for that. I kind of wish I could disclose names here, but I'm pretty confident they know who they are. Basically, if we've hung out this summer, you were part of that experience and I'm utterly grateful for it.

Before I go, a couple other things I've learned this summer, and a little bit of a rant , because the person it's about will get a kick out of it. :)

Things I've learned this summer:

- Age doesn't matter. I used to subscribe to the belief that age was a make-or-break factor in a relationship, and had pretty hard limits on what age was OK to associate with, date, etc. I started abandoning that when I became really close with a couple in college, not realizing there was almost 20 years between them. (I knew there was an age difference, but not that much.) I loved hanging out with both of them, they were and still are loyal friends and I never once felt out of place or uncomfortable with them, despite our (or their) age difference. And this summer, my group of friends has expanded, age-wise, to include several people who are a good deal older than me. And I love that experience. I love the different perspective they can give me and I can give them, and, again, I've been lucky to find people who are intelligent, supportive, and a blast to be around. So I'm rescinding my previous limits on age-appropriateness. While I'd still say there are some limits, I'm aware now that age really has very little to do with whether or not you connect with someone.

- Meeting new people isn't as scary as I thought it was. As I've mentioned before, I've lost several friends (in the sense that we're no longer in each other's lives) this summer, but I've gained several new ones. I've been notoriously afraid of meeting new people, and this summer, between working at the paper, Thunder, living in a new neighborhood and being old enough to go out to bars and clubs, I think I've done one hell of a job meeting new people. I still keep in touch with several of them. And that gives me hope for meeting new people on this adventure I'm about to embark on.

- I really like BDSM. It's not the only thing I like, but I had various opportunities to explore it a little more fully this summer, and overall, I really enjoyed it. Playing, watching, learning. All good things. And I have a better idea about some of my limits.. and how malleable some of them are. :)

There are more things, but as I'm looking around my room right now, I'm realizing that I leave in 12 hours and there is a lot of crap to clean up... so we'll jump to the story.

There are times when I really love friends with benefits relationships. It takes a certain kind of friendship and certain kind of people to be able to make it work, but when it does work, it works really well. After a crazy night out with the non-boyfriend, Roomie, P, G, and Gayboyfriend, I spent Friday recouperating. And being a little sad, as the reality of the summer ending was beginning to hit me. After blowing off packing all day, I was still feeling pretty shitty and, to borrow a term, had a bad case of skin hunger. I ended up texting a long-time friend who I hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to yet. After the opening ceremonies, he came over. I sometimes forget how much fun we have together. We ended up hanging out in my bedroom, talking about everything under the sun. My house is sans AC, and I was really hot, so I ended up stripping down to a bra and short shorts. And then dropped a not-so-subtle hint that cuddling would be a really awesome idea. (Yeah, I was super-smooth. Along the lines of "I need to make more friends who like to cuddle." *cue boy lying down next to me with his arm around my waist. Excellent*)

We watched entirely too many episodes of Weeds, chatting in between, and flirting like we tend to do. I showed him my new cuffs from Thunder, he wore them for a while, which made it really difficult for him to sneak up on me and tickle me, since he jingled. There was much cuddling. And he's a really good cuddler. Which I know sounds strange, but there are people who just... aren't very good at it. Also, we fit nicely together, since he's got a solid five or six inches on me, so it contributes to the whole i'm-little-and-feminine feeling that I so enjoy when cuddling. I think there were small periods of time where both of us fell asleep (he didn't get to my house until midnight), and eventually, when I tried to get up to put the next episode on, he kept his arms locked around me.

Now, generally, I'm pretty good at cuddling with platonic friends. Granted, this friend isn't entirely platonic. He's that kind of excellent friend with benefits whose company I really enjoy, whether we're hooking up or not. And we'd hooked up earlier in the summer, but hadn't slept together since I started seeing non-boyfriend, for a variety of reasons. But with the cuddling, and the fabulous conversation (intelligent and silly and serious and lighthearted all at once) I kind of couldn't help wanting it to go farther. And he has an uncanny ability to figure out exactly what I want. It's a little eerie, although my guess is it has something to do with the fact that we've known each other for over a decade. Anyways, he kept asking me what was on my mind, and in a totally high-school move, I played the "nuuuuuuthing" card. And then he started kissing me. Which was exactly what I wanted.

And things progressed (I was mostly naked already) in the way they tend to with he and I, and shortly there were no clothes left on our bodies. Talk about satisfying skin hunger. And here's the thing I remember most vividly from the encounter (which is going to make me sound rather girly): the way he held my hand. He'd be on top of me, and go to hold my hands above my head (again, he knows the kind of thing I like), but instead of just holding my wrists down, he'd intertwine his fingers in mine, which allowed me to squeeze back on his hand. And made me feel really connected to him. I know that's a little thing, the way his hands were, but it was particularly interesting, because it was something I'd actually been thinking about earlier that day. About how I wanted to get laid, but have it be more sensual than the frenzied need or getting dommed. And this friend knows where my buttons are, and exactly how to push them. And he absolutely did. Which was exactly what I wanted.

I also tend to remember specific things he says when we're having sex. I remember the first time we hooked up (well, ok, the "first" part is debateable) after a fabulous date involving dinner and a movie and a trip to Kmart to try to find Nerf guns (unsuccessfully) and late-night stargazing in the snow and an effort to get pie until we realized the Village Inn closed in 10 minutes, he said something to me (about my rack, heh)... and something about the way it was worded or the way he said it, I don't know... was really hot. And I can still remember exactly how it sounded and what he said. The same kind of thing happened this time... I was on top, and sat up straight, still rocking my hips. He looked up at me and just said "god, that's a gorgeous sight." I'm pretty sure I blushed. I always do when compliments actually take. It made me feel ridiculously attractive, and sexy, and wanted. It was fantastic.

Really, the whole night was a blast. I kind of consider that my first Last Night in the City. (I went out with friends the next night, and had a great time, although the tone was a little bittersweet.) But had I left the next day, I still would have been totally satisfied with how I'd spent my last few hours here by hanging out with him. He somehow figured out exactly what I needed, and that's what I got. I wish that was the case with more of my life. Heh. Anyways, friend, I'll miss you. See you when I get back.

And that's all, folks. I'll be out for at least two weeks as I travel Spain. I'm sure I'll have periodic internet access a la internet cafes and hotel lobbies, but I don't know if it will be enough time to post. But I'll be sure to keep everyone updated on the inevitable escapades. Speaking of, last night, a girlfriend asked me if I wanted to bet how long it'll take before I get laid in Spain. Any guesses, readers? :)



Fat Controller said...

You are so right about the power of just holding hands. I find it a tremendous turn-on.

Have a great time in Spain, you lucky thing!

Amalthea said...

SP did that hand thing with me for the first time ever. I love it too. It's a strangely sensual connected take on dominance. Hot! I still remember compliments that stuck to this day. Weird how that works.

Thanks for your last comment to me as well!! I hope you have a lovely trip too and I'm sad I am just now functional post the 17 hour drive back. Too late to comment on all your writings!

I had a happy glow for your send off just from reading it. Can't wait to hear more when you get settled again. :) Color me jealous of your summer and your travel and school in Europe. I'll be commenting on the past posts you had soon and writing something of my own very shortly as well.

Amalthea said...

I forgot to guess too.... I'd say 11 days. Just because I like the number.