Compliments of my roommate... at about 1am, as I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, we were discussing what my role was with her toddler daughter (who I help take care of when I can).
Roommate: Well, you can't be an auntie, because all of her aunties are old lesbians!
Me: Yeah, but when I grow up, I wanna be an old lesbian, too!
Roommate: You're not going to be an old lesbian, you're going to be an old... sex fiend!
I love living here. SO. MUCH.
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Thursday, September 11, 2008
i <3 teh interwebs
Because sometimes they make me giggle. Like when I wake up this morning, and see a message from David on facebook. Yes, walk-of-shame David. Which is funny, because my name is more than a little tricky to spell correctly, making me tough to find on Facebook. We did have a conversation that morning about my last name, I just failed to realize that was so he could find me online later. It made me smile, and blush a little bit. Although the less than awesome part: his status definitely says married. To a woman with a hyphenated last name the same as his.
Now, I remember him telling me he had a three year old daughter at home, and I also recall him very clearly telling me that he was no longer with the mother. I´m not really one for regret or shame, but I do feel a little bad if I just fucked some poor woman over. Of course, I also think most of the responsibility to that fidelity (and yes, I realize this is assuming that they are in a monogamous relationship which might not be the case, although for what it´s worth, he seemed relatively vanilla) lies with the people IN the relationship.
So for now I´ll just enjoy the irony of the interwebs.
(Details of the encounter with David are forthcoming, I promise. I just need to get back to my computer with a keyboard I´m used to typing on.)
Now, I remember him telling me he had a three year old daughter at home, and I also recall him very clearly telling me that he was no longer with the mother. I´m not really one for regret or shame, but I do feel a little bad if I just fucked some poor woman over. Of course, I also think most of the responsibility to that fidelity (and yes, I realize this is assuming that they are in a monogamous relationship which might not be the case, although for what it´s worth, he seemed relatively vanilla) lies with the people IN the relationship.
So for now I´ll just enjoy the irony of the interwebs.
(Details of the encounter with David are forthcoming, I promise. I just need to get back to my computer with a keyboard I´m used to typing on.)
Sunday, August 24, 2008
quote of the week
Just a short entry tonight as I'm counting down the last few days left until I get to Madrid... We're currently in Mallorca, which is basically paradise. I've not only found my wedding dress here, I've found a place to have the wedding. Now I just need the person to marry. Heh. Details, details.
Anyways, today we were at a Monestary in the northern mountains of Mallorca, at a place where Chopin actually lived for a while (on a side-note, I got to see original drafts of his hand-written music, as well as original manuscripts of George Sands' "Winter in Mallorca." Pretty awesome. If you're a nerd like me and into that kind of stuff, anyway.)... and our profesor, who was leading our group - he's my favorite of the four chaperones/profesores on this trip - was pointing out the traditional dormitorio of a monk of the Franciscan order who would have lived in this monastery. (It was basically an exhibit in the museum, with authentic artifacts.) He was discussing the life and devotion of a monk, and pointing to various items displayed in the room: bed, basin for bathing, etc. And then he said this:
"Aqui esta una cosa por auto flagelacion.. eh? Self-flagellation? Yes, in the 13th century, monks would beat themselves to show their devotion. Now, it's kinky!"
And then I died laughing. Everyone else kind of giggled, and I had to try my best not to look too much like I got the joke a little TOO well. Although he totally called me on it, and (half-jokingly) asked me to explain to one of my fellow classmates.
I thought you all would enjoy that. When I get to Madrid, I should be able to upload photos, which means I can catch up on the HNT photos I've missed. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to jump on that bandwagon immediately before leaving the country for the rest of the year. Ah well.
Besos por todos!
Anyways, today we were at a Monestary in the northern mountains of Mallorca, at a place where Chopin actually lived for a while (on a side-note, I got to see original drafts of his hand-written music, as well as original manuscripts of George Sands' "Winter in Mallorca." Pretty awesome. If you're a nerd like me and into that kind of stuff, anyway.)... and our profesor, who was leading our group - he's my favorite of the four chaperones/profesores on this trip - was pointing out the traditional dormitorio of a monk of the Franciscan order who would have lived in this monastery. (It was basically an exhibit in the museum, with authentic artifacts.) He was discussing the life and devotion of a monk, and pointing to various items displayed in the room: bed, basin for bathing, etc. And then he said this:
"Aqui esta una cosa por auto flagelacion.. eh? Self-flagellation? Yes, in the 13th century, monks would beat themselves to show their devotion. Now, it's kinky!"
And then I died laughing. Everyone else kind of giggled, and I had to try my best not to look too much like I got the joke a little TOO well. Although he totally called me on it, and (half-jokingly) asked me to explain to one of my fellow classmates.
I thought you all would enjoy that. When I get to Madrid, I should be able to upload photos, which means I can catch up on the HNT photos I've missed. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to jump on that bandwagon immediately before leaving the country for the rest of the year. Ah well.
Besos por todos!
Friday, August 1, 2008
*falls over laughing*
So, a while back, as a joke, I joined an online dating site called OKCupid. It's free and the gimmick is that by answering user-generated questions, you get matched with other users. So, supposedly, your fate is in your own hands. Or something like that.
Side note: I realize everyone says they joined online dating services as a joke, but I was working on an article for my magazine at the time, which was sparked by the fact that eHarmony will reject you if you're gay. Or not religious enough. Yeah. So I was looking into other sites that offered more options. For the record, on Chemistry.com, you can be gay, but you can't be bisexual. On OKCupid, you can be gay, straight, or bi, and you can be already in a relationship and still looking for partners, in which case it will list your orientation and "available" instead of "single."
Anyways, I periodically check it, and while I was coming down off the crazy amount of cold meds I've been on for the past three days, I was updating my profile, which I guess means I can receive instant messages. (Although they call them "intimate messages." Aw. How cute.) Apparently I missed one, so it was sent to me as a message in my inbox. Here is the text of the message in its entirety:
you look kinda exotic to me. i do want to see you naked. write back if you're interested.
And that was it. No name, no introduction. My profile says nothing about anyone seeing me naked, or even about BEING naked. I talk about my orientation and the kind of work I do, but that's it. So I'm not sure where the "i DO want to see you naked" as if I'd asked a question comes from.
Also, although it doesn't particularly make a difference, the sender is from Buenos Aires, Argentina. And actually, I probably would have been less put off my the message had he written it in Spanish.
Needless to say, I'm not writing back. I just think it's hilarious how little effort people seem to think it takes. And here's the catch: I'm easy. I know it, I own it. But come on, dude. You have to work a teeny bit harder than that. (Or, *gasp* could it be that I'm raising my standards? eeep. Who would have guessed.)
In other funny OKCupid news, when you look at a person's profile, it lists a percentage that, by the site's mysterious algorithms, you would be that person's "match," "friend," or "enemy." I logged back on to the site because through a series of texts with T (yes, from Thunder) today, he mentioned I should look him up there. And I did. And I have the highest compatibility rating I've seen with him. Which I think is hilarious. Also, I enjoy that he texts almost as much as I do. (And all of this is NOT creepy cyber-stalking cause he started it by searching out some of my published writing that I didn't know was still posted and commenting about it. And he gave me his OKCupid name.) I really like making new friends. I wish I were a little better at it. But I'm getting there.
And now I should sleep. Night, all.
Side note: I realize everyone says they joined online dating services as a joke, but I was working on an article for my magazine at the time, which was sparked by the fact that eHarmony will reject you if you're gay. Or not religious enough. Yeah. So I was looking into other sites that offered more options. For the record, on Chemistry.com, you can be gay, but you can't be bisexual. On OKCupid, you can be gay, straight, or bi, and you can be already in a relationship and still looking for partners, in which case it will list your orientation and "available" instead of "single."
Anyways, I periodically check it, and while I was coming down off the crazy amount of cold meds I've been on for the past three days, I was updating my profile, which I guess means I can receive instant messages. (Although they call them "intimate messages." Aw. How cute.) Apparently I missed one, so it was sent to me as a message in my inbox. Here is the text of the message in its entirety:
you look kinda exotic to me. i do want to see you naked. write back if you're interested.
And that was it. No name, no introduction. My profile says nothing about anyone seeing me naked, or even about BEING naked. I talk about my orientation and the kind of work I do, but that's it. So I'm not sure where the "i DO want to see you naked" as if I'd asked a question comes from.
Also, although it doesn't particularly make a difference, the sender is from Buenos Aires, Argentina. And actually, I probably would have been less put off my the message had he written it in Spanish.
Needless to say, I'm not writing back. I just think it's hilarious how little effort people seem to think it takes. And here's the catch: I'm easy. I know it, I own it. But come on, dude. You have to work a teeny bit harder than that. (Or, *gasp* could it be that I'm raising my standards? eeep. Who would have guessed.)
In other funny OKCupid news, when you look at a person's profile, it lists a percentage that, by the site's mysterious algorithms, you would be that person's "match," "friend," or "enemy." I logged back on to the site because through a series of texts with T (yes, from Thunder) today, he mentioned I should look him up there. And I did. And I have the highest compatibility rating I've seen with him. Which I think is hilarious. Also, I enjoy that he texts almost as much as I do. (And all of this is NOT creepy cyber-stalking cause he started it by searching out some of my published writing that I didn't know was still posted and commenting about it. And he gave me his OKCupid name.) I really like making new friends. I wish I were a little better at it. But I'm getting there.
And now I should sleep. Night, all.
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