Tuesday, February 5, 2008

The lowdown on the get down (Nov. 07)

My friends and I got into a debate the other night about what some of the most feasible dirty sex acts were. We ended up disagreeing on what, exactly, the definition or a "Dirty Sanchez" is. Can you help us out?

Well, dear reader, I'm not sure what kind of parties you and your friends are having, but clearly, I need to start attending. Anyway, on to the task at hand. There actually seems to be a significant amount of confusion over the details of what constitutes a Dirty Sanchez. All agree, however, that it has a hideously uncomfortable name.
Even our friends at urbandictionary.com express some disagreement over the subject. There do seem to be some recurring themes, however. While readers can't quite decide about the exact mode, reader S.D.S. summarized it best - "it doesn't matter how you do it. It's a fecal moustache."
The Dirty Sanchez (whose name actually originates from a notoriously vile Mexican soccer player) invovles, essentially, some kind of anal penetration and the smearing of the fecal matter that accompanies that on the partner's upper lip. Of course, you're welcome to get creative about what, precisely, does the penetrating; the most common are a penis or a finger.
So there's your definition. Now as to your conclusion that this is one of the most feasible dirty sex acts, I don't know that I'd agree with you, but I'm not one to judge.

I recognized a similarity to my own sexual habits in last month's question about exhibitionism. But my kink is a little different. I find I have the best orgasms when I'm in public - by myself. Any suggestions for a guy like me?

You're right, you are in a different situation than last month's reader. Either you don't have a partner to get down with, or your hand just happens to be the best partner you've encountered. You could adopt any of the solutions I prescribed last month, but I have a feeling you're not going to settle for that. So, consider these next options, but do proceed with caution, and bear in mind that not everyone enjoys exhibitionism as much as you do.
My guess is you get off on the thought of being caught red-handed, so anywhere that you aren't supposed to be doing what you're doing will give you a rush. Start out somewhere a little less public, like your dorm room shower. I promise you won't be the first. If you're comfortable with it, you can always try getting your rocks off in a public restroom - no, not the Senator Craig way - in a solo show. The key here is to be creative without being terribly overt. Movie theaters are dark and if you can find an unoccupied back corner, you may have it made. Just remember to be courteous and bring a tissue.

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