The lowdown on the get down (Dec. 07)

While my girlfriend and I were talking about ways to spice up our sex life, she mentioned she'd be interested in a threesome. I'm definitely up for it, but we're both a little confused on the details of how to have sex with each other and another girl. Any tips?


The key to a good threesome is the key to a great relationship: communication. You and your girl already seem comfortable talking to one another, so you've got your foot in the door. Sometimes the trickiest of arranging a menage a trois is finding that third person who's as comfortable with the two of you as you are with each other. Once you've secured a third partner, you have to set up the rules of engagement before you get down to playing the game.
Talk with everyone about what they are and are not OK with doing. Be open - this is no time to hold back. Lay everyone's expectations on the table, to make sure you're all on the same page. As a group, you might decide that intercourse is reserved for you and your girlfriend, but oral, manual or anal sex is OK for everyone involved; or you might deem everything fair play. Whatever you decide, it needs to be something that everyone is completely comfortable with.
That's not to say the experience won't be a little awkward or bumpy - just like losing your virginity. But now, as then, you'll improve with practice. Go in with an open mind, a good sense of humor, and a full box of condoms.


My roommate and I have a lot in common. We like similar music, art and girls. I'm out [of the closet] to my family and friends, but she's only just starting the coming out process. How can I get her to see me as more than just a roommate?


Despite what the Grimm brothers would have us believe, there is no magic spell to make someone fall for you. Life would be too easy if that were the case. There are, however, things you can do to try to get her to realize you're more than just a great roommate.
Of course, you first need to clarify your intentions. If you're looking for a serious relationship, then your approach will likely require a good deal more time and effort than a simple seduction (if such a thing existed). Either way, you'll want to highlight the things you both have in common. The more of a connection she feels with you, the more likely she'll realize how you feel. Once you've established that connection, it's up to you to personalize you tactics in ways you think would attract her. One note of caution: Roommate sex is always convenient, but if the relationship goes awry, you can be left with an uncomfortable, awkward living situation.
Also keep in mind that if she isn't oped about her sexuality yet, she may have some reservations about what you two do outside the apartment. Of course, you also have the advantage in being roommates, since that gives you plenty of alone time to turn into - you guessed it - sexytime.