Wednesday, April 1, 2009

HNT: damaged.

I've been feeling a little damaged lately. My friends, bless them, have been doing a great job trying to piece me back together. But of course, taking me apart is always easier than putting me back together.

I've contemplated posting this photo for a while. It's a different kind of revealing HNT. Not because I'm ashamed of it, or even make much of an effort to hide it anymore, but because it reveals something about who I used to be. And I wear it that way - a reminder of who I was, and what I came through.

Sometimes this is a rough point in my relationships. There's always a moment when someone, (well, if they didn't know me when these were new) notices the marks. And asks about them. Or, worse. They don't. Turn their eyes away, or make those puppy-face eyes at me. So for the record: This was never about suicide. It was about coping. It was what I did. I don't do it anymore. I have other methods for coping now. And again, I'm not ashamed. I actually think the marks are kind of beautiful. That might well be my morbid fascination, but nevertheless. So here. Something personal about me. They stand out more now that I'm tan... this was taken a few weeks ago.

So in the hope of healing from all these damages and emerging a whole person - not scarred, but maybe marked; and in the interest of being able to see such flaws as beauty, HHNT.


d2b said...

This is a kind of revealing HNT that I really love to see, not the scars but just the bare nekkidness that can make one feel better by showing off.

I hope your methods nowadays are less painful.

-- Thank yoy for sharing!

Happy HNT!!!

Osbasso said...

You're certainly not alone. While I don't understand the need or the psychology around it, I've read other's stories to know that it's far more prevalent than most realize. Glad to hear you've got other mechanisms in place now!

Southern Sage said...

It is the flaws that are beautiful.

Merlin said...

These are part of your past, and now part of who you are. Your physical scars are just as real as the psychological scars you must also bear. It's just that these are visible to the naked eye.

Amalthea said...

Can I paint them? :)