Wednesday, April 9, 2008

4.08 The low down on the get down

My boyfriend and I recently started experimenting with role-playing. I’m into it, but the scenarios he comes up with are, well, lame. He always suggests that I be a nurse or a French maid, and he always wants to be a cop or the UPS guy. Have any other ideas that aren’t so cliché?

Oh, do I ever! While there are many tried-and-true role-play fantasies out there (and it seems your boyfriend’s quite familiar with those), “Nearly any role could become the base material for an erotic experience, and there is no limit to what objects an individual can consider erotic,” Wikipedia tells us.

For once, Wikipedia got something right. Material for fantasies comes from any and all aspects of your life – dreams, wishes, even fears and doubts. You’re only limited by the time and money you want to spend on the adventure. If you’re looking for an elaborate set up involving costumes, you could play the role of Fay while your boyfriend dons a gorilla suit and embodies King Kong.

If that’s a little too far-fetched for you, try taking something from your past and acting it out. Many of us loved Aladdin when we were kids, so if that was one of your favorites, hit up a costume shop and spend an evening really exploring “A Whole New World.” Considering Disney flicks are jam-packed with innuendo anyway, you shouldn’t have much trouble finding fodder for your fantasies.

The key to any good fantasy, especially successful role-playing, is losing yourself in the role. When you do, you can get rid of all those inhibitions that tell you not to be silly, crazy, kinky, or whatever. Just like Mom and Dad always told you growing up, you can be anything you want to be.

I desperately need your help – I’m a 24-year-old virgin who hasn’t been out on many dates. By some twist of fate, I was just invited to a sex party. I really want to go, but I don’t want to embarrass myself and risk my chances of finally hooking up with a girl.

Well, dear reader, without details about the specific kind of sex party you’re about to attend, I can only give you general advice. Here are some tips that will help you out at any party – even ones requiring clothing.

Before you leave, remember that hygiene counts for quite a bit – even the most likeable social butterfly comes off as a sketch ball when not showered and in a stained T-shirt. There’s no need for a three-piece suit, but a nice pair of pants and a button-down wouldn’t hurt. Unless, of course, the party’s themed, in which case you’ll want to dress appropriately. Also, don’t hesitate to talk to the host or the person who invited you beforehand – if you let him or her know you’re new to this, you just might get your very own tutor.

Once you’re in the door, remember those manners your mother taught you oh-so-many years ago. You know, like the one where you introduce yourself and ask permission before jumping in on any live action. That way you can avoid being the unknown creeper whacking off in the corner.

All in all, if there were ever a time to suck up your social awkwardness and jump into the deep end, it’s now. Mind your manners (and your condoms), be honest and open, and you may find yourself not just testing the waters of sex, but swimming in them.

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